I don’t think love is a violent and selfish affair. If it is, you’re doing it wrong. There are obstacles, sure, but what does a horse do when it sees an obstacle—it jumps over it. Squirrels do too. The only animals that run headlong into obstacles are humans.
It could be good to live without hope or desire though. People are always desiring things and it ruins them. Take what you have and love it. Everything is just about equal. Whatever you’ve got needs your love as much as the thing you think you need to have more.